The Politics of Being Chosen
Being chosen is like being a popular kid for the rest of your life. Though we tend to despise the popular people, can you imagine how exhausting it can be in that position? The outside world places their expectations, hopes and dreams on individuals who are just trying to make their relationships work. When the popular group does anything that doesn’t align with the expectations and invisible rules, the outside world ostracizes them until they do.
The Importance of Being With Someone You Actually Like
It’s easy to find someone to be with but it’s more of a challenge when we find someone we click with. That connection shouldn’t be flimsy since we’re going to be seen with whoever we choose. It’s also particularly distressing when we look ourselves in the mirror and remember the cretin in our lives will still be there tomorrow. Being chosen ain’t glamorous when we hate the people we’re claiming. So why not be with the people we really care about? What’s the harm in enjoying the people we spend majority of our time with?
All About Affection
Affection is needed for good connections with our partners. Why? Because it’s the main way our partners show us how much they want and need us. By now, most of us have been in relationships with people who seem allergic to giving a hug or compliment. Being with those people can feel like a constant uphill battle since we don’t see nor feel the love. These types of interactions messes with our emotional bonds with partners and can bring us closer to the end of a possibly good connection.
Boundaries Are Your Protection
It’s too easy to fall in love and forget about ourselves. That’s why the Universe gave us boundaries. They don’t disappear when we bind ourselves to another, no matter how many times we do it.
Your Womanhood Is Personal
Everyone has an opinion that demands to be heard and actually taken into consideration, as if we’re supposed to care. Every decision that a femme makes is up for scrutiny no matter the size or significance. From the moment we’re placed on this planet expectations are dumped on us and we’re punished if we don’t measure up.
Questions People Can Stop Asking
The strength it takes for me to answer these questions without either a scowl or with one sentence shows how much I've grown. But there are too many people asking me the same questions in the most life draining cycle ever. So I've comprised a cute list with answers they hopefully will remember for years to come. Feel free to take these answers for your own chorus of busy bodies in your life if the answers apply to you.
Love Legacies
A prominent memory from my adolescence was debating with boys who had it worse in life. The variables would change weekly but the point remained: someone has to lose and I'd like to know who it is. There used to be a sense of pride that would swell up whenever I would reason my opponent into submission. But after living through some colorful romantic experiences, I started wondering how that mindset molded my outlook on relationships and love.
If I Was Honest on OkCupid
Self summary:
I'm a petty, neurotic and indecisive woman who likes a variety of things you probably don't care about. Why? Because I'm attractive enough for you to fantasize about but not attractive enough to make you want to fight for your honor. I'm also marginally intelligent but let's be real, you saw my photo and decided to ignore anything I may have typed here.
Vices Keep Us Grounded
Yes, some of the great things we do positively effect how we view ourselves. But aren't we tired of trying to be holier-than-thou all the time? It must get lonely on top of that throne. From there, everyone looks like heathens who are unworthy of the king's presence. They need insert-personal-moral-compass-here to be around him. If you're rolling your eyes at the thought of it, congratulations, you have vices and are relatable.
My Annoyance When Asked About Kids, Explained
Whether it's my family members, coworkers or my beautician, everyone wants to know what's going on with my plans. Where are my offspring and husband?! It doesn't matter if I have ideas about other aspects of my life.
Four Letter Words
For the majority of my life, someone has tried to curb my adoration for curse words. Every reason from every person has fallen under these statements:
Curls Are Professional
I was still in my mother's home and as a new adult I asked her for advice on my outfit choice. I can still remember the way her face scrunched up when she asked about my hair. I was confuse since I asked about my blazer while she was fixated on my full time natural hair. Her words were something like "No one will hire you with your hair looking like that."
This Country Will Not Break Me
America took off the mask of a progressive yet concerned nation to reveal the dirt we've swept under the rug for centuries.
Rough Drafts Are Evil (But Necessary)
I think I have a fear of drafts. And as I writer I know that it's an unavoidable part of the process. I also understand that it's a bit ridiculous to be afraid of a task. However, the fear persists. It's like drafts are laughing at me and my inability to finish what I started.
Shock & Awe: Trump's Game Plan
As the American public, we know how much he craves attention. From the TV shows to the defunct business ventures, Trump tries his best to stay in our faces. This is just his latest stunt.
New Topics and Fresh Voices Revitalize Podcasts
Maybe my tastes are changing or maybe I’m maturing. Whatever it is going on with me, podcasts have become a growing favorite for media consumption. It seems like the rest of the country is feeling the same.
What Have You Been Voting For?
As a millennial from a southern state, voting on certain issues has caused me to get into heated debates. One of the most prevalent issues that makes me lose my cool quickly is immigration reform.
Reserved Trips To Space
From millionaires to middle class dads, people are investing thousands of dollars into space explorations. By space explorations, I mean visiting the moon and planets the same way tourists travel to Times Square.
Work VS. Life As a Woman
Facebook and Apple was under a microscope a little while ago when the companies’ coverage to freeze eggs provided to their female workers came to the forefront.
Adulthood Isn't Dead, Just Changing
A reporter at The New York Times recently wrote an essay called “The Death of Adulthood in American Culture”. I’m a light reader of this newspaper so I thought it might lead me to have a great dialogue with my peers. Once I read it, there was a dialogue but it was a heated one.