Step 8: Be Open
If someone would have told me that I would be in a completely different city trying to juggle my home life and my budding career all before finishing college, I would have walked away. Just shaking my head and letting out an annoying laugh while I walk away. Well imaginary person, you were right! And I was rude to let that sound out of my mouth.
Step 7: Breathe
Throughout the summer, I had been seeing a therapist. Because there is a super black woman complex, I was ashamed that I couldn't just pray, take a nap and do what I needed to do. However after many strong suggestions and sleep deprived nights, I got into an Uber and sat down on that comfy couch to cry in front of a stranger.
Step 5: Compassion For Oneself
When you meet me, I'm probably going to be the nicest person you encountered that day. I step aside, hold open doors and always apologize for bumping unto you. My niceness is extended to everyone but myself. I'm at my most cruel and unforgiving when dealing with myself.
Step 4: Stay Consistent
On my quest for success of every kind, I get bombarded with advice on how to achieve it. One of the main ones is to make good habits. By good habits, they mean doing uncomfortable, hard things repeatedly until it becomes second nature. That doesn't mean you'll like those awful things over time. No one likes being responsible. And if they do, they are usually devoid of spontaneity even in the smallest sense. It just means you'll appreciate the success when you get it.
Step 3: Be More Selective
Going with the flow has been ingrained in my mind that it's the ideal behavior. Something comes up?
That's cool.
Deadline get changed?
Whatever.
Need to make a group decision?
Whatever y'all decide is cool.
Step 2: Stop Apologizing
However when it comes to me, "I'm sorry" is one of my top said phrases. I know it's annoying to hear that every time one of my quirks slip out. While it's endearing in the first encounters, it soon becomes suspicious. No one can be that nice and apologetic all of the time.
Step 1: Patience
I think I might have overestimated my calming nature. Usually I can breathe out negativity and a smile will emerge. However people have found a way to knock all the wind out of me through the phone.