Confessional

Forgive me Lord, for I haven’t been honest with myself.

Or anyone for that matter.

If it’s OK with You, I’d like to confess.

I’m scared that I will not handle living up to my potential.

Sometimes I feel guilty for letting my quirks come through.

When my depression takes its hold on me, I lie about how long it took me to get out of bed. I don’t want people to worry that I’m drowning in my own mind.

I have this maybe irrational fear of everyone leaving me.

I have 4 states worth of rage and alcoholism coursing through my veins that I fight every day. I counteract that with passive aggression.

I have this habit of leaving my responsibilities to get dusty when I feel overwhelmed.

I find myself up at unholy hours wasting time on the past.

It's easier to close myself off sometimes because the only person I disappointed that day directly was me.

And there are times when I turn my worries into breathless crying sessions. It's a twisted kind of skill.

Thank You for listening. Maybe one day I will be a better Christian and tell the truth more often. Because I gotta shame the devil.

Amen.