A Letter to Nice Guys

To the man who told me my sexual escapades were of the pornstar quality, and all the men like him, I pity you. I understand it must be so hard being the nice guy wanting his dick sucked but being perceived as a friend. I understand the misconception about sexual freedom you believed for so long. I mean it doesn't extend to women right? I even understand your shy nature hindering you from true love.

While I may understand it, I don't accept it.

You're the kind of man I will raise my daughters to stay away from. Their bodies are not on reserves for guys who are too afraid of confident women. Your close-minded, misogynistic ways are what's keeping you from having anyone who won't use you. It must be baffling to hear that a weakling, I'm sorry woman, did what you couldn't.

How dare I go after what I want?

How dirty must I be to acknowledge my desires without male supervisor or suggestion?

If 6 is the magic number to turn me into a pornstar, then your 2 should have you married by now. Oh wait, that's right, you're alone. Does that low number assist you in your search for the wholesome girl? Such a pity that casual sex is a boy's only club that closed its doors to you but gave me a membership card.

Are you insulted? Why? If being a prude is who you are then why be mad? Embrace it fellas. And keep each other company.

Because no one else wants you.