Unconscious Decisions

My past showed up in a dream the other night. He didn't look the way I remembered him. I can't really tell you how he looked but my dream self knew it was him. Maybe it was his energy. Or maybe it was the fact that my family was yelling at me to stay away from him. Maybe my brother happened to be my conscious that night. He asked all the catching up with you questions. I remember my old neighborhood. I remember the uneasy feeling that accompanies walking around with someone I shouldn't have been. And I remember watching his face drop when I told him to go live his life away from me. Even in my dream he hoped for something that wasn't going to work.

I held out a torch for him for years.

And I let it go out when I fell in love with the man I will marry.

I'm not sure what it means,

but I'm happy that I had the strength to walk away from him while I was unconscious.

It solidifies the end of an era for the both of us. Maybe I had the dream because he's finally moved on.

I hope he has.