Failed Plans

You were supposed to follow that plan you bragged about having. You were supposed to have tunnel vision. I guess seeing everyone go on with their path brought out the coward in you. Our friendship was initially based on academia and mutual people around us. When I left, what happened? Did you get lonely? Did dick make you forget your own goals for three years? You stopped being extraordinary for someone who couldn't even be faithful under the same roof. Then the wedding came. Then the baby came.

Maybe that's when "everything's good" became your default answer.

I don't understand why you dropped your common sense. How do you sign up for adult status and not know how to pay bills? How do you not consider that a baby and husband might still leave a void inside?

But let's focus on our friendship.

I used to be able to tell you my dreams. I remember when you wanted to be a judge. I remember how we used to talk about the girls who only wanted to be the prize of a male. You laughed. You said you wanted more than that. More than just sitting at home serving your man with a baby stuck to your chest.

I want to believe your husband convinced you of this traditional life. But you're so much smarter than that. That strategic side of you is still there. That's where the sly insults come from. That's where the relationship tips come from. That's where using your friends to watch your baby comes from.

I can't open myself up to someone who doesn't feel safe saying that her husband gets on her nerves. I can't deal with this step-ford wife that doesn't allow me to cuss or call her on her shit. Small talk isn't what I signed up for when we became best friends. Maybe you didn't want to grow with me. Or maybe you're too afraid of your own voice saying what everyone already knows.

I think it's your turn to tell the truth. Your plan fell through and you haven't saved face.