Chapter 32

I've learned that this shit is real.

Freaking out internally but make it fashion

I'm now a quarter of a century year old and I came into this bitch kicking and screaming. It's weird that this is the year I didn't want to get older. Like my age is a car on a track and I want the power to pick it up and make it go backwards. However time doesn't work like that. It keeps moving now matter how loud you scream.

25 means that I'm not a kid anymore. I can't call myself a girl anymore. I am a woman and it's scary! I'm responsible for my life but also my future family. I worry more about my health because I know my kids will be renting a room inside me and I don't want them getting sick. I also can't act like I don't know anything anymore. I'm not innocent. Do you know how often I've used my age/perceived innocence to get over?!

All the tricks I used before won't be viable. And while I can adjust, it sucks knowing that I really have to figure this shit out.

As a kid, I thought of adulthood as a game I could find the cheat codes to and coast through. If I went to this school and did well, if I avoided these people and stayed home, if I didn't tell people my personal business and said everything was fine then I'd be set. But things kept getting more complicated. And I'm aware that's how things are supposed to go but damn!

This life is real but it doesn't mean I can't enjoy the ride. I have so much more life to live, places I haven't been to, people I have yet to meet. 25 is a milestone year because I'm settling into this adulthood experience. Do I know exactly what I want to do with every aspect of my life? Fuck no. I don't even know what I want for dinner. Am I ready to keep going? Yes.